Stand Out. Don’t Fit In.



Which element of your best work do you most want to amplify this year?

Instead of considering simply doing more work, take the time to consider which elements of your work would most light you up to amplify. What’s holding you back from amplifying it? Is it that obscure little thing no one will care about? Or is it that if they see it, they’ll care too much and call the Imposter or Weirdo Police?

There won’t be a time in the future where it’ll be easier to amplify that part of your work.
p.s. You can’t stand out and fit in at the same time.

Charlie Gilkey

What is my best work?

Okay, confession time. My best work is the stuff I keep under wraps in large portions of my life. Simply typing these words into my computer made my heart beat faster and my throat dry out.

My best stuff is the stuff that makes me radical, the stuff I truly think the world needs and that I know scares people.

My best stuff is when I show up in my full self and invite people to join me.

Other people describe me as majestic, elegant, intelligent, comfortable with artists and engineers, atheism and spirituality, interdisciplinary, a polymath, always searching for understanding, deep thinker, passionate, gregarious, honest, direct, insightful, practical, and a creative problem solver with great stamina for conversation and exploration of the ideas that move me.

I come alive most when I connect with other people who are fully alive and showing up with whole-hearted authenticity.

I am a life coach/writer/theatre artist, a former lawyer, and a body-wise intellectual. I have experience in education of gifted kids and my life coaching clients are mostly gifted, creative, and/or sensitive renaissance souls or polymaths. My passion is leading people from dependence or co-dependence through independence to interdependence. My superpower is leading political, religious, or social justice related conversations on Facebook in which people have genuinely changed their minds in response to persuasive arguments.

My best work is what I do when my full self shows up.

And there are parts of my self that I keep under wraps in situations where it feels unsafe to show up fully.

I am tall and have a body deal about that. I do not stand up straight regularly for various reasons that have to do with fitting in and being seen as gentle. But, unless I stand up straight, I am selling myself and those around me short. I come alive when my body is not cramped into a doomed attempt to be a culturally acceptable size for a visibly female body

I am a passionate thinker, a mystical atheist, a deeply spiritual secularist, a democratic socialist, a gender queer (non-binary) bisexual, an armchair philosopher, and an advocate for all sorts of radically inclusive political policies.

I hide these things in too many places. When I hide them, I stop feeling alive.

What would light my up to amplify in my world?

In my world, amplifying the mystical atheism, the secular spirituality, and the passion behind my actions will light me up most, especially in my business. My passions and my spirituality are what brought me to this work. I want to let them flow through it.

What is holding me back from amplifying it?

I fear that I will look weird as I do this and that people I care about will think I have gone off the deep end.

And yet, when I show up with those parts of myself, I am compelling and charismatic and helpful.

I have an old story in my body of people being afraid of me when I show up fully. And, I know that when I was a child and inexperienced with sharing my full knowledge, passion, and being, I was harsher than I necessary when holding my integrity in the places where the world wanted me to conform in ways that would harm me.

I have learned so much about how to hold my care for other people and my authenticity is healthier balance over the years that I am no longer as harsh as I was. I have learned much but still forget that I have learned it.

What do I need to remember to be able to amplify it?

I can show up fully without crowding other people out of the space.

I have practiced over years and continue to get better.

I am quick to notice when my shadow material is showing up and I have skills to pull myself back into alignment.

My compassion for other people is strong and my commitment to their own authority over their own experience and choices is strong.

I will make mistakes and do my best to repair any damage I cause and that is the best any human being can ever do.